Wednesday, March 08, 2006


why did we let our prophets go to waste?
there are too many to identify, and dutifully acknowledge, aren't there?too many to find, yet, ironically enough, not many enough.
a good friend of mine, is gravely suffering now.he is not so much a plain friend, as he is a denied confidant.
i have known in my meager but far-too-long-lived-life, a simple yet small fraction of humanity: that were capable of independence from it.
i whole heartedly wish that i was orthogonal to time and space.if only you knew what that meant.if only you knew what that felt like.
i am not gifted enough with words to express it well enough.nor, might i add, are you gifted enough to compherend my unremarkable explaination of the same.
as pink floyd so beautifully put it:i can't explain, you would not understand (this is not how i am).
as i stated before, life has become unremarkable to has little to offer me still.
my delusions of superiority are fading.they lost all their base reasoning in one grand strike from a pair, of conjured gods.i shall not explain. you will not understand.
i wish that you knew what independence truly signifies.i wish that you could free your inhibited will.that would lead to: free will.
i wish that death would be done with, i do not wish to die.i care not for suicide.
i just plainly wish to be put out of my is unfortunate that it has come to be synonymous with death.but things are as the are.and i exercise little, if no bearing at all, on them.
i seem to want to express, to you, the wonderful numbers i have and seventeen. they are divine.i, i'm afraid, am anything but.
the forbiddances of simple connectivity.the sacrifices we unknowingly make; so as to be accepted as part of human society.
we are born without our rights as living beings.we are compensated, so to speak, for those sacrifices; by humanly invented is much along the lines of having your parents murdered and being offered cello-tape for your worthy compensation for it.
lately, i had taken to watching cartoons all seemed the appropriate thing to this world full of inexaustable suffering and pain, what better haven is there, than the innocence so intended for the only innocent that remain.
superstars and cannon balls are running through your head,television freak shows; cops and robbers everywhere,animals and children tell the truth; they never lie,which one is more human; there's a thought now you decide.

it's a's savage garden.i wish their name didn't so rightly represent the state of the world.but it does.and i appologise for it.

as i was saying of my friend.he is suffering, in pain as he is.and i, in all my glorious power, am utterly incapaple of helping him.

and i want state to him, simple undo the effects of lonliness.
i should know.i grew up on lonloness.not in lonliness, mind you.but quite simply, on it.
i wish kurt vonneagut could be god.if only for a day, if only for an instant.i embody the characters in his stories, as i embody all characters in all stories i read.and i find my self happier in most of them, even the scary ones.

i have long since out grown my family.those that remain, are mere shadows of the shadows they were before.i wish that wilbur daffodil-2 swain would christen me a daffodil-17.i suspect that i will be happier, if not perpetually extatic.
i have meager expectations of life.or whatever is left of it.

i think, the remainder of my life; i'd like to spend in the uninhibited ambiance,of someone i need not tolerate.i'd like to spend it, watching cartoons and movies, eating french fries and chips.and ice cream, if i may be so bold.

i tire of the devious games i play, of the continual psycho-analysis i find myself doing.i want not to bother with them any more.i want to be imbuned with ignorance and innocence.i want to be left alone.please don't leave me alone.

this friend i spoke of is evil, and i mean that in no uncertain terms.and so, i'm afraid, am i.and so, i'm afraid, is everyone i's not uncommon. intelligence breeds evil.and i am far too intelligent for my own good.

i, as half of one united genius, came up with the wondorous classification of the people i is simple in it's definition and inherently beautiful.and it is this. people i like are either: brilliant or intellectual.

the concept, i shall make a conscious effort to explain.there are those that are ignorantly geniuses.and i have seen that these very ones, are innocently geniuses.this language, i'm afraid, makes that distinction.these are the brilliant. the ignorant-innocent-geniuses.

the genius so defined, need not be a knack for solving cyclostationary differentio-integral-quadratic equations.the genius so defined, need not be an uncanny flair for conceptual programming.i for one can at will, conjure both.and i am continually humbled and amazed by the simplistic yet forceful genius of those that i know who can't.

these, i claim are the brilliant.they are evil.and they are innocent, and they are ignorant.they do not suffer greatly of the age of madness.and they can rule this world.and, were it in my power,i would let them.

the intellectuals you might already be familiar with.they are the infantile jesus(es) and moses(es) and budda(s) of our generation.they can willingly oscillate between being intellectual and brilliant.and they are all psychotic.i, believe you me, should know.

these, i claim are the intellectual.they are evil.and they do not have the luxuary of ignorance, or innocence.they need to contend themselves with denial and ego.they suffer immensely intense depression and agony in each of their reigns of madness.and they need to rule the world, as much as vonneagut needs to be god.and, were it were in my power,i would let them.
the two seperately are but severely disturbed people.the brilliant don't show it and the intellectuals don't really care to hide it.but as a unified uninhibited entity are the cause of grand resonance and singularity.beautiful beautiful singularity.i eagerly await mine.

if only you knew what it meant.if only you knew what it felt like.
i wish we hadn't let our prophets go to waste.

i wish i needn't feel the need to wish for anything at all.


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